Again??

So yesterday Brian and I went to his oncologist checkup to see how his CAT scan went last week.  Everything for almost 2 years has been clean, but yesterday we found out that Brian has an enlarged lymph node in his chest.  
---For those of you who dont know 2 years ago Brian found out that he had stage 4 Hodgkins Lymphoma (http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/types/hodgkin).  We had no idea he was sick.  I mean yes he had been sick and had a skin rash and a sore hip but we didn't have insurance at the time so we were waiting for insurance to start before he could go to the Doctor.  Anyway we went to the Dr and the day before his insurance started we found out that he had cancer.  Insurance covered everything!!!
So now tomorrow Brian has a PET scan (http://www.radiologyinfo.org/en/info.cfm?pg=PET)to see if it they can see if it is cancer again or possibly anything else.  An enlarged lymph node can be so many things I am praying that its really nothing but a chest cold but we wont know anything for a couple of days.  
It is so hard to be positive when you don't know what is going to happen.  I mean I might be upset for nothing at all. I hope its nothing at all!

4 More Days

Today is Monday.  I am feeling like everything is really coming to an end.  I knew it but its actually becoming real.  I decided that I am possibly going to try to sell a few things on ebay for a couple of my old clients.  I am going to do it my way and on my time.  I feel like its something I like to do so I guess I might as well do it.  I filled out my Fafsa paperwork last night to see if I qualify for any financial aid to possibly go back to college in the Summer or Fall.  I am going to try and keep everything going so that I possibly can work to get a better job or start something on my own.  

I don't know what i would do alone but maybe I could open an eBay store or something.  Who knows I just want to help my family and make some money.

I am trying to keep in mind that God has a plan and everything will work out.  I am keeping the faith.

My Last Week....

Well, this is my last week at my current job.  I have been there 5 years.  I feel like everything I have worked for is just over.  I started this job and didn't know what I was doing.  It was a new part of the organization that I worked for and I had to completely start over from the beginning.  I had to figure out what was the best way to keep track of everything and all the forms had to made from scratch.  I cannot believe its all going to be over.  I feel so many different things at one time. I mean 5 years I have put in so much of myself like it was my own business.  Really I feel like I was just let down.  I had no time to try and change anything or try to change their mind.  It was December 15th we got word that we had 1 month and then our jobs were over.  What do you do?  I mean I guess I will be going on unemployment since I have yet to find a job. I know God has a plan and everything will work out fine. I'm not really worried just mad and upset over how it happened.

??? Why read Blogs???

OK this is all new to me.  I have no real idea what I'm writing about or why.  I guess 1st of all I'm writing because if i keep everything in I will lose my mind.  I have people to talk to but really do I need to add to their crap?  I love reading and randomly I love to read peoples blogs myself.  (If you know any good ones let me know) I guess I'm interested in what other peoples problems are and what they are thinking about.  I am a random person that has some WEIRD thoughts and sometimes I go WAY off subject.  If i don't i might forget something important.  Most of the time IMPORTANT to me is ONLY important to me.  I have really weird dreams and really weird friends!

I like to be fun and laid back not fancy pants and prissy.

I love beaches and water along with food and Dr. Pepper.

When I grow up I want to be a beach bum.  Someday I hope to attain that goal.

More about me later...I hope that you will subscribe and come back often.

THANKS